que?

3:45

they're all such a bunch of hooligans

[5/24/10 3:48:27 PM]

that's what happens when you puke in your shoes - loose your debit card and wake up in your tub.

9:18

you are the worst piece of shit on the planet
godddamit i hate you

11:20

did you get drunk and naked and swim in the ocean last night? cuz if not im pretty sure i had a better night out than you did

1256pm

im gonna apply for food stamps so i can use more of my unemployment checks for beer money. thanx for paying taxes btw, couldnt do it without ya

2:56

im just saying - if the right 19 year old puts oak in my wood, lets be honest

2:59

If you've got something that looks like Don Kings head in your underpants, give it a trim.

[5/10/10 1:33:11 PM]

absurd - showing your fruit salad to innocent asian bystanders?

[5/10/10 1:33:27 PM] she was totally into it

3:28 pm

I'm like.. umm the only way I'm going to be a sugar momma is if you are 21 - hung like a horse and live next door

[5/7/10 2:41:34 PM]

that's so amazing I think it may have just given me cancer

9:47 am

omfg... tequila... then locked myself out of my apartment this morning
at work in same clothes
fml

8:19 pm

She just told me she gave her hoo hoo a champagne bath this morning